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Up at 33,000 feet this morning, I found myself savoring the fine experience air travel has become in this day and age.

In the days since September 11th, we all have to get to the airport awfully early to manage ourselves through security. To make my 6:50 a.m. flight, I was up at four in the morning.

Mellow.

Harshed.

The line to process through the security screening was ridiculously long, but all of us were good sports about it. There’s nobody that wants to find themselves wedged in next to the Shoe Bomber trying to spark up his loafers. We all seemed willing to sacrifice a little time to avoid that particular scenario.

What I don’t get, though, is that there were eight of these TSA folks loitering about watching the other two of them work while a whole ‘nother gate was closed off. Just don’t get that.

I marvel at the folks who wear sandals on airplanes and then stand barefoot during security screening as their shoes run through the x-ray machine.

I see this happen two or three times each trip. I’m only in the line fifteen minutes or so. So that’s anywhere from 8-12 pairs of barefeet on that floor an hour, or 192-288 a day! According to an article I saw in the New York Times, 20% of the populace has some kind of toe fungus.

Twenty percent!

Based on the math above, that means that at a minimum 38 people are standing there on the floor with their naked, fungus ridden toes.

And that’s just the people with toe nail fungus. This number doesn’t provide any accounting for all the other freaky foot funk that’s out there. President Bush, you wanna’ fight the war on terror? Barefooted travelers are scaring the CRAP out of me! Do something about that!

I’m a sock wearing boy and as I loaded my Rockports into the plastic bin for scanning, I wondered how long before we’re all flying naked?

The horror.

The fellow seated next to me on the plane slept from take-off to touch-down. Lucky me, he snored too. And he had the jimmy legs.

I debated taking a picture of him mouth wide in full snore.

That’d be GREAT for the blog, I thought.

If I got the picture, it’d be hilarious.

If I got caught, though?

That might be funny later. Not so funny on the plane.

I resolved to let it be, turning up Ludacris on the iPod and committed myself to ignoring the man’s bouncy leg savoring the sublime pleasure of air travel.

Maybe it’s pride.

I’ll own that.

It could totally be pride.

But I have a hard time with the fact that Bar-B-Cutie, a BBQ franchise out of Tennessee which  announced today that it’s coming to DFW, bills itself as “The world’s best barbecue since 1950.”  Who in the world do these Tennesseans think they are coming into the Metroplex with their 55 new locations and talking trash?!?  What are they thinking?!?

I mean, we’ve got Sonny Bryan’s Smokehouse, for crying out loud!  You haven’t lived until you’ve sat in one of those little school desks at the Inwood “original” and chowed down on a brisket sandwich.

And what about Peggy Sue’s?  Oh yeah, you know that’s some dang fine pork.  And you don’t want to miss out on the fried pies!  Ohmigod, the fried pies alone are worth the visit.  Chocolate.  Fried.  Pies.  Order some to take home.  You’ll finish ‘em off in the car before you even make it to the driveway.

I’m drooling right now.

David’s BBQ in Arlington has meat so tender you’d think you’re eating a baby!

Fort Worth’s Railhead Smokehouse is an oasis of smoked goodness in the west.
There you go.

Four restaurants off the top of my head that are some of - if not the - best BBQ in the world.  Moreover, each represents a wealth of tradition.  Bar-B-Cutie touts its 50+ years in the business.  Whoopitydoo, Peggy Sue’s was originally Peggy’s Beef Bar, a Highland Park fixture for decades.  Well, Bar-B-Patootie can stuff her half century in her hat, because Sonny Bryan’s traces its roots back to Elias Bryan’s first shop in 1910.

In your face, Bar-B-Cutie!

I subscribe to the Starry Messenger, the newsletter of The Planetarium at The University of Texas at Arlington. There’s always something interesting in the sky that the good folks at UTA manage to point out to me. For instance, this month…

• Early in the morning on August 28th, we Texans will get to enjoy a total lunar eclipse (not to be confused with a total eclipse of the heart). If you loved the last one in March, you’ll love this one!

• The Dallas Symphony Orchestra will present Holst’s The Planets over at the Meyerson on September 25th complete with multimedia images from Hubble telescope. My favorite piece is in this work is “Mars.” I love “Mars.” Ticket prices are pretty sweet, too!

Keep your eyes to the skies, my friends.

Time is running out to go see the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History’s Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit. The show opened its doors on June 9th and ends on September 3rd.

Me and a buddy paid a visit to the museum last month. The displays of props, ships, and costumes were just amazing. I was impressed by both the artistry and the craft. Big time cool factor.

That said, the exhibit represents a link between the fanciful world of Star Wars and the hard reality of science.

Ummm… yeah.

The link’s a bit dubious at best. There are a number of hands-on science exhibits for the kidsters to enjoy. I observed a lot of kids having a big time doing just that. But let’s face it, Star Wars is pure fantasy and this show is all about the flippin’ cool space ships. Ain’t no science in Star Wars.

I forgive the show this conceit because everything else about it was so hella cool.

I’m not a shopping mall person by any stretch of the imagination. There’s really very little there that I care for. Sure, there’s the occasional Cinnabon and North Park does have Maggiano’s (but I don’t have to enter the mall to eat there)…  Other than that? Not much of interest for me.

Except pants. A lot of pants and places to buy them is what the malls have. And today was day two of the three day tax free weekend.

Consarnit, a man needs pants!

Supply and demand conspired to put me and my lovely wife (fresh from receiving her new highlights earlier in the day) smack dab in the center of shameless commerce alongside a ridiculous number of hot, sticky Texans. Since we rarely go to the mall, The Wife suggested: “Let’s do the whole thing. One end to the other. Let’s see what they got.”

“In for a penny, in for a pound?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Her eyes narrowed, determination etched sternly on her face. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” I nodded, a fearful tremor in my voice.

Bracing ourselves, we went in.

It was a decision we would come to regret.

The stores were overwhelmed with customers. Lines stretched long outside the fitting rooms. And when you got inside? Piles of discarded clothing from earlier customers littered the floor

I am convinced that there was a couple having sex in one of the changing rooms. While a line of us were waiting to try on our items, the two of them exited appearing rather rumpled, red-faced, and embarrassed. Fortunately, I was able to score an alternative room, presumably free of recent carnal activity.

No joy.

The quest for pants continued.

We prowled the entire crowd choked place in our quest for pants pausing only for fruit smoothies.

There are many stories to be told here… The woman who had apparently never before been outside… The scarey Charlie Manson look-a-like with a groovy flair for fashion… That weird maple syrup smell that permeated the entire center…

Another time.

At the end of the afternoon, we returned to the parking garage. Tired, beaten, yet successful. We emerged with trousers in hand.

But at what cost, I ask.

At what cost?

2006 Will Eisner Spirit of Retailing Award winner and home to the best darned Free Comic Book Day event this side of the planet Krypton Zeus Comics has some cool stuff happening over the next several days.

Their summer sidewalk sale continues this weekend featuring lots and lots of funny books at bargain bin prices.  But on top of that, you can download the coupon from their website to enjoy a whopping 20% discount on their entire stock of graphic novels and manga!

Webcomic Starslip Crisis creator Kristofer Straub will be on site Wednesday, August 22nd from 5-7 pm.  I guess you can take your computer for him to autograph.  Or perhaps pick up a copy of his new book.

Later on you can join the gang that same evening over at Ciudad for Zeus’ All Mixer.  It’ll be the last one at Ciudad as, according to the Zeus newsletter, the restaurant is closing shop.  The mixer starts at 8 o’clock Wednesday night.

According to an article I saw on Digg, there is apparently a movement to bring major league lacrosse action to Dallas. This caught my attention for two reasons:

1. I had no idea that there were Major League Lacrosse teams; and
2. I really don’t know what lacrosse is.

My experience with lacrosse is a vague knowledge that my cousin in Massachusetts plays it. But, that said, I imagine that one day Dallas will have a world class lacrosse team, successful both on the field and in the marketplace.

Then, Dallas will lose this world class lacrosse team to one of the suburbs which will build an opulent lacrosse stadium complete with retractable roof, luxury suites, and property tax waivers.

You heard it here first.